Ben Balbo

In my wildest dreams, I would not have imagined that the most popular post on my site would have been Why I Don’t Want Kids!

I wrote the post to address the not-too-uncommon opinion my friends have that either Sandrine or I are broody, or that we should have kids despite our opinion.

After finally approving a number of new comments on the original post, I noticed that I still hadn’t addressed Toni’s comment from last year! I would like to address them in this post, and digress from kids to respect.

Toni said that by not having children, I’m not allowing myself to mature myself in a unique way. Well, I’m of the opinion that there are many ways to mature myself. Traveling the world is a great way to meet new people and cultures. Volunteering your time for a good cause is a great way of giving back to society and helping those that are less fortunate or going through rough times. Those are just two activities that will “make you a better person”, and while I agree they, along with having children, are not mutually exclusive, it’s a matter of balance - you can’t do everything in life.

That said, I do not abstain from interacting with children. They are (mostly) beautiful beings. They are like small adults. They have opinions (some of them not all that wacky). Watching them learn is amazing. Having them teach you something is even more amazing. I love kids to bits, I just don’t want my own.

Toni also said: “if everyone thought like you there would be no you to enjoy life”. Well just think, if everyone thought like me, there would be no politicians, public health service, telephone repair people, cooks. There would be a world of software developers who all wish to pay off their mortgage and then go traveling, buy some land near a beach, build their own house and be self sufficient. There would be no project managers to direct those developers and there would be no clients to buy the software.

Thank god not everyone’s like me.

I respect Toni’s opinion that everyone should have kids. I respect it, but I completely and utterly disagree with it. Everyone’s different. I’m not telling anyone not to have kids. I would like Toni to respect my decision, but I don’t expect him/her to.

I was just sharing my future plans with a friend, who sent me this little story:

The Mexican Fisherman

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

“Not very long,” answered the Mexican.

“But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

“I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, and sing a few songs… I have a full life.”

The American interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”

“And after that?” asked the Mexican.

“With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.”

“How long would that take?” asked the Mexican.

“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years,” replied the American.

“And after that?”

“Afterwards? Well my Friend, That’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the American, laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!”

“Millions? Really? And after that?” said the Mexican.

“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings doing what you like and enjoying your friends.”

Know where you’re going in life… you may already be there.